Angel at Taco Bell

The other day I was out running errands and feeling a bit down, ruminating on how challenging life is, and how groundless my own life feels.  I needed a bite to eat and decided on cheap and fast. I would have usually gone to the drive-thru, but it was busy so I parked and walked into the restaurant.

A young, large, dark man beamed from behind the counter and was curious about the collection of Interfaith charms I wear around my neck. William instantly recognized the Buddhist dharma wheel, the Hindu "Om", the Tao yin-yan and the Jewish Star of David. His eyes sparkled with spirit and life I had not seen for a long time, and what I did not expect from someone working at Taco Bell.

William told me he was deeply spiritual, studying and reading many teachers.  He lit up talking about his gratitude for his life now. Curious, I asked him about his story.  At 25 years old, William had been homeless for several years, and for the last 2 years his job at Taco Bell allowed him to live in his own apartment, connect with a spiritual community, turn his life around and give him hope and gratitude for so many people and experiences in his life. I told William his light was brilliant, and that he had no idea how much I needed to hear his story.  His beaming face continued to illuminate as he served my order.

Angels appear when we need them, even if it's in a place and time we would never expect.

 

Do you hear it, again?

April 7, 2011  --  Today the thread of connection wove through uncertainty, change, impermanence and paradox. Cyril's cancer is back, growing and spreading quickly. We all took a deep breath with this news, and yet we also were not surprised. Over 4 months ago the doctor said that small cell lung cancer is not a curable or even maintainable cancer.  The best to hope for was to suppress it for a few months to give more quality.  It was never, if the cancer would come back, but when.  When is now, sooner than we had hoped.  Now with the choice of chemo options dwindling to a few that have no proven record of efficacy with side affects of extreme fatigue and loss of appetite, quality of life is essential.  The question Cyril is now pondering "What do I want to do with the few months of life left?"  We continue to meet each day's unknown journey as best we can, knowing that many are praying for us; and knowing that Love is the thread that guides us, pulls us, binds us, and weaves within everything and everyone.

Do you hear it?

Laying on the beach in the sun with just enough breeze to cool without need of a long sleeve shirt is one of my favorite places to fall asleep.  Especially after so many weeks of rain and gloom, a visit to Goat Rock was particularly welcome!

I didn't actually sleep this time on the beach, just a kind of luminous lucidity that allowed me to listen differently.

Usually, when meditating on beach sounds (live or recorded) I bring my attention back to the sound of the crashing waves.  Today, I heard something else.  A constant low din that seemed steady, without rising or falling.  I can't say it was background or foreground.  It was just constant.  At times it kind of sounded like a freight train in the distance, but not so ominous, foreboding or melancholy.  It was comforting.  When listening to the sound of waves, there is a rise and fall of sound and emotion - naturally.  The sound I heard on the beach did not evoke rising or falling.

The metaphor seemed obvious to me - what is a constant in my life, behind or within the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows?  Within those parts that generally vie most for my attention, what is there, constant?

It seems there may not be just one thing, one constant, but many that make up the inner outer connection - a thread.   Shall I call it Love, God, the Divine, Allah, Buddha, Spirit, or uncertainty, change, impermanence and paradox.

What do you call it?  Do you hear it too?